Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Today...

Today was tough.

Today was hard.

Today was emotional.

Today was draining.

Today was the start of a very long 10 weeks.

Today I struggled to hold on to my own emotions when my two babies were pouring theirs out.

Today I cried.

Today, I thought, was going to be easier than it was. I have done this before, for a year in fact, with just  a handful of weeks together. It didn't make it any easier.

Today I know that despite having family and friends who are here to lend a hand, support and ease the burden, it's still hard.

Today I was at a loss of what to say to my babies to make it better.

Today I was at a loss of what to tell myself to make it better.

Today I realized how lost I feel knowing I won't be seeing my love for 10 weeks,

Today I realized it's much tougher knowing he's in a different country, different time zone, rather than just a 3 hour plane trip.

Today I realized distance, good byes and trying to be strong don't go so well when you are pregnant and full of emotion at the best of times.

Today I saw how amazing he really is. How he knew that a special surprise waiting from him, would help take the sting out of a sad airport goodbye for his babies. How he thought ahead to have an anniversary card at home waiting for me. How he lovingly held my belly and said goodbye to our little growing baby and told me to be strong for the precious life growing inside me.

Today I want to be over already, yet I can't shut my brain or emotions down just yet.

Tonight I am waiting by my phone for word that he has arrived safely and to hear his voice.

Tonight is going to be a long night.

3 comments:

Kate Sparkles said...

Goodbyes always suck :(

Ashley said...

I am sorry. I can not even imagine how difficult that is going to be. I hope the next ten weeks fly by!

Sharnee said...

sorry to hear Em....
He has always been a thoughtful guy and you also.
Where has he gone to? The 10wks i hope will fly for you.
Fill your time with creating some of those precious ne baby items...