Monday, January 14, 2013

Ups and Downs...

This weekend I started out with the best intentions. I had a fab big to-do list choc full of stuff we really wanted to do. Some things fun, some just chores.
But sometimes making plans and being 34 weeks pregnant just don't mix. Because about an hour into our Saturday plans I was stopped in my tracks. Those darn braxton hicks contractions decided to make their first appearance this pregnancy. And I am not gonna lie to you, it wasn't pretty. Every time one hit I thought I was going to throw up. I didn't want anything touching me, all I could do was pace back and forward in my house with tears streaming down my face.
The thing is they weren't unbearably painful, but they were nasty and I could literally taste the vomit in my throat. But as for the crying, I have no idea. I have never cried in labour, or even come close to it. But I just could not stop myself. After what seemed like forever I resorted to sitting/laying in the bottom of the shower. Trying to wash away the tears and the pains and the awful sick feeling. I must have stayed in there for an hour before I crawled out and onto my bed without even bothering to dry myself. That is where I stayed until nearly 6pm.
Talking about it all with Todd later that night I came to the conclusion that the tears were because I feel so unprepared. Up until last weekend, we kept saying that we have plenty of time. No rush to get things/buy things/finish the nursery because its not like we are in any hurry.
But you guys, it finally hit me. We only have 6 weeks, give or take. That is not long at all. And I am a planner. I feel stressed and anxious if I don't have a plan. So I really don't know why I have been almost avoiding getting organised. Maybe it's because I still haven't hit that stage of pregnancy where you are completely at your wits end and just want it over and done with already. I don't know. But I have suddenly found myself willing him to stay put as long as he can until I feel more organised and less unprepared. Considering I am getting pretty darn huge and basically anything that I put on is uncomfortable, that is a pretty crazy notion.
Todd has told me to go and get everything I need and pack my hospital bag for myself and baby C and that once I have done that I will probably feel a little less anxious. I sure hope he is right. Because I want to be able to just sit back and relax and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. It's my last one and I want to cherish it.
But for now I will resort to more list writing and trying to remember everything you need for a newborn. Suddenly an almost five year break since my last newborn seems like a crazy idea because my mind seems completely blank. I mean why else would I cry worrying I wouldn't remember how to breastfeed.
Huge thank you to anyone who read through this entire crazy ramble. Sometimes it feels better just to let it all out.
Oh and feel free to send any ideas of newborn essentials my way. Seriously, please do!

Joining in here


Kristine Foley said...

So crazy cuz my husband swears we can try for another in five years :) I'm so sorry to hear about those darn Braxton Hicks! I hope by packing your guys bags you'll feel less anxious. Just remember you got this. You are one amazing mama and know just what your babies need.

Kristine from The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog

Lea said...

Newborns dont need much stuff. Nappies and singlets, a wrap and a whole lotta love. I'm sure you've got it completely covered. So exciting!

Jen said...

visiting from the PP. I will probably be there in a couple weeks. I'm 32weeks now with #2 and have been feeling like I have plenty of time, but now I'm realizing I need to go ahead and move my now 17 mon old into a bed because the new baby is going to need the crib before too long. I haven't thought about a darn thing for this new one except that. But really newborns don't need much- that's what I'm banking on. My only prep is going to be pulling out the cradle from the attic for the first few weeks and praying that grandparents take care of the rest...