Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Sitting On The Driveway...


Do you ever find yourself thinking deeply at the most random moments? I do. Take tonight for example. Sitting on the driveway at 9.30pm while Todd was hosing the lawn. I came out to keep him company and because it was one of those gorgeous crisp clear nights that you get at the end of winter and I wanted to soak it up.

Sitting there looking up at the stars, I couldn't help but think back to the days when Todd and I were 18 or 19 and we used to lay on his parents driveway after a movie or dinner date. We used to lay there for hours looking at the stars and talk about our plans for the future.

Todd always wanted to join the Air Force, so we would talk about that. We would talk about being together forever. One day getting married. One day having children. Where we would like to live. Where we would like to go to on holidays. And we would talk about the regular day to day stuff too. The good, the bad and the ugly. It was always easier to talk, hope and dream while laying there looking up at the stars.

We were always so hopeful. We felt like we could take on the world. Sometimes I don't feel like that so much anymore, sometimes there is so much going on in the world that it all just feels like too much. I tend to dwell and feel things hard. Things for other people as well. And I can get so caught up in it that I forget to see and appreciate the wonderful blessings that I have in my life everyday.

As teenagers we could never have imagined that we would have the life we do now. We were hopeful for sure, but people always tell you that you don't start dating the love of your life when you are 17. Yet here we are almost 13 years later. Married. Todd in his dream job. Me living my dream, I get to blog, create, dream and raise my three sweet babies along side the man who makes me feel like I can do anything. He supports all my crazy ideas 110% and I back him in everything 110%.

And it feels so good. And I get mad that I can let myself get so caught up in everything else. In all the bad, the sad and the things I can't control, and that I don't see what's right in front of me.

But tonight took me back to being young and filled with hope. That place, that feeling. I needed it. Who would have thought that watching Todd watering the lawn would bring up so many feelings.

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