Friday, November 29, 2013

Really Seeing Right Now...

Never let your feelings get in the way of seeing things as they truly are.
source

I have this habit. And believe me it's not a good one. It's not drinking too much coffee, or eating too much chocolate. Although I do both of those things.

I don't live in the now.  I often want more. I don't live in this very moment. I often don't count my blessings until I am reflecting back on them.

Instead I spend my time looking forward. Looking ahead. Always to the next event, next plan, next holiday, next project. Next next next next next. 

It's like I am never satisfied. Never happy with what's right in front of me. Only that's not true. I feel so blessed and so very thankful for my life, for my family, for the blessings that we have. I acknowledge this all the time. So what is it that always keeps me looking to the next thing.

Maybe it's as simple as it being human nature, perhaps it's how I was raised, perhaps it's just a sign of the times. I don't know.

What I do know is that I don't like it. I want to just be able to stop. To breathe it all in and simply be. But how. It feels so deeply ingrained. I know that it's going to be a process, and I don't even begin to think that I have all the answers. I sure as heck don't.

I don't want to put this habit onto my children. Right now they live in the moment. They look forward, yes, but not at the expense of right now. As children it's just how we are. It's not until we get older that things change, things get complicated. We notice what is going on around us and the longing, the want begins.

You see someone going on a trip, you want to go on a trip too, and so on. It's makes me feel uncomfortable even writing it. It's not a nice thing to admit to. But I'm laying it out here. Sometimes I see what others are doing and the pull is just there. It's almost like, why isn't it me doing that! Oddly enough its often things I am not really interested in at all.

What about you? Do you live in the moment or are you like me and always looking to the next thing , always longing for more.?

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